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July 1998


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Mary Jo Barone <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
A LISTSERV list for discussions pertaining to New York State history." <[log in to unmask]>
Tue, 7 Jul 1998 09:03:52 -0400
text/plain (93 lines)
Thoroughly enjoyed the letter to Thomas Jefferson!

At 01:43 AM 7/6/98 -0700, you wrote:
>This was just on Humor Digest; Enjoy!  Bonnie G...B)
>> The Court of King George III
>> London, England
>> July 10, 1776
>> Mr. Thomas Jefferson
>> c/o The Continental Congress
>> Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
>> Dear Mr. Jefferson:
>> We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest.
>> Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your
>> statements do merit serious consideration.  Unfortunately, the
>> Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications
>> for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for
>> further refinement.
>> The questions which follow might assist you in your process of
>> revision:
>>1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature
>>   and Nature's God."  What are these laws?  In what way are they the
>>   criteria on which you base your central arguments?  Please document
>>   with citations from the recent literature.
>>2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind."
>>   Whose polling data are you using?  Without specific evidence, it
>>   seems to us the "opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.
>>3. You hold certain truths to be "self-evident."  Could you please
>>   elaborate.  If they are as evident as you claim then it should not
>>   be difficult for you to locate the appropriate supporting statistics.
>>4. "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the goals
>>   of your proposal.  These are not measurable goals.  If you were to
>>   say that "among these is the ability to sustain an average life
>>   expectancy in six of the 13 colonies of at last 55 years, and to
>>   enable newspapers in the colonies to print news without outside
>>   interference, and to raise the average income of the colonists
>>   by 10 percent in the next 10 years," these could be measurable
>>   goals.  Please clarify.
>>5. You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive
>>   of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish
>>   it, and to institute a new Government...."  Have you weighed this
>>   assertion against all the alternatives?  What are the trade-off
>>   considerations?
>>6. Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive.
>>   Such a long list of grievances should precede the statement of
>>   goals, not follow it.  Your problem statement needs improvement.
>>7. Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all.  You
>>   state that the colonies "ought to be Free and Independent States,"
>>   and that they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the British
>>   Crown."  Who or what must change to achieve this objective?  In
>>   what way must they change?  What specific steps will you take to
>>   overcome the resistance? How long will it take?  We have found that
>>   a little foresight in these areas helps to prevent careless errors
>>   later on.  How cost-effective are your strategies?
>>8. Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for
>>   implementing your strategy?  Who conceived it?  Who provided the
>>   theoretical research? Who will constitute the advisory committee?
>>   Please submit an organization chart and vitae of the principal
>>   investigators.
>>9. You must include an evaluation design.  We have been requiring this
>>   since Queen Anne's War.
>>10. What impact will your problem have?  Your failure to include any
>>    assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range
>>    prospects of your undertaking.
>>11. Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized budget,
>>    and manpower utilization matrix.
>> We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your "Declaration
>> of Independence."  We welcome the submission of your revised proposal.
>> Our due date for unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776.  Ten copies
>> with original signatures will be required.
>> Sincerely,
>> Management Analyst to the British Crown