Thoroughly enjoyed the letter to Thomas Jefferson! At 01:43 AM 7/6/98 -0700, you wrote: >This was just on Humor Digest; Enjoy! Bonnie G...B) > >> The Court of King George III >> London, England >> July 10, 1776 >> >> Mr. Thomas Jefferson >> c/o The Continental Congress >> Philadelphia, Pennsylvania >> >> Dear Mr. Jefferson: >> >> We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. >> Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your >> statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the >> Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications >> for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for >> further refinement. >> >> The questions which follow might assist you in your process of >> revision: >> >>1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature >> and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the >> criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document >> with citations from the recent literature. >> >>2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." >> Whose polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it >> seems to us the "opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion. >> >>3. You hold certain truths to be "self-evident." Could you please >> elaborate. If they are as evident as you claim then it should not >> be difficult for you to locate the appropriate supporting statistics. >> >>4. "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the goals >> of your proposal. These are not measurable goals. If you were to >> say that "among these is the ability to sustain an average life >> expectancy in six of the 13 colonies of at last 55 years, and to >> enable newspapers in the colonies to print news without outside >> interference, and to raise the average income of the colonists >> by 10 percent in the next 10 years," these could be measurable >> goals. Please clarify. >> >>5. You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive >> of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish >> it, and to institute a new Government...." Have you weighed this >> assertion against all the alternatives? What are the trade-off >> considerations? >> >>6. Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive. >> Such a long list of grievances should precede the statement of >> goals, not follow it. Your problem statement needs improvement. >> >>7. Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all. You >> state that the colonies "ought to be Free and Independent States," >> and that they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the British >> Crown." Who or what must change to achieve this objective? In >> what way must they change? What specific steps will you take to >> overcome the resistance? How long will it take? We have found that >> a little foresight in these areas helps to prevent careless errors >> later on. How cost-effective are your strategies? >> >>8. Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for >> implementing your strategy? Who conceived it? Who provided the >> theoretical research? Who will constitute the advisory committee? >> Please submit an organization chart and vitae of the principal >> investigators. >> >>9. You must include an evaluation design. We have been requiring this >> since Queen Anne's War. >> >>10. What impact will your problem have? Your failure to include any >> assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range >> prospects of your undertaking. >> >>11. Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized budget, >> and manpower utilization matrix. >> >> We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your "Declaration >> of Independence." We welcome the submission of your revised proposal. >> Our due date for unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies >> with original signatures will be required. >> >> Sincerely, >> >> Management Analyst to the British Crown > >